Knowing When to Call it Quits in Psychotherapy
Part 3: Make a Clean Break

John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
September 20, 2004

Whether you've spent only 2 sessions or 20 with your therapist, it's always easiest to make a clean break from therapy. It goes most smoothly if both the therapist and client have agreed upon a set date beforehand - "Three session from today will be our last." Be prepared! The last session is often difficult and can be emotionally draining. Sometimes clients will feel a sense of achievement, but others may feel a sense of loss. Acknowledge your feelings in session and let you and your therapist work together one last time.

Don't be tempted to make a follow-up appointment for a month or three down the road just to "check in." In some exceptions, this may be necessary for especially long-term or intensive psychotherapy. But for most people, the end of therapy (therapists call it "termination," a term that seems a little harsh to me) should just happen and then it's over. No follow-ups, no phone calls, that's it. Congratulations! You've successfully ended your therapy.

It is all right, however, to send a thank you note or card if you feel so inclined. Therapists are often thanked for the work they did with a client at the end of therapy. But most of the credit should, of course, go to the client who does the vast majority of the work. Change is hard, and changing the way we think or our behavior over the years can be especially challenging.

Remember that seeing a therapist is just like seeing a doctor when you're sick. Leaving therapy once doesn't mean you're set for life. Changes do occur in our lives and there may be a time when you may need to go back into therapy in the future. Just keep that in mind that the psychotherapy resource is available to you in the future if you need it.

Related Reading An Introduction to Psychotherapy Do You Need Therapy? And check out the free online Do I Need Therapy? Quiz How to Choose a Therapist And Other Frequently Asked Questions about Starting Your Psychotherapy Differences Between Therapists' Degrees Knowing When to Call it Quits in Psychotherapy Recommended Online Psychotherapy Resources

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Aug 2010
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